Psychological health

Why Vulnerability Is So Important For Healthy Relationships: 3 Reasons

“Vulnerability is the cradle of love, belonging, joy, courage, empathy, and creativity. It is the source of hope, empathy, accountability, and authenticity. If we want greater clarity in our purpose or a deeper and more meaningful spiritual life, vulnerability is the way.” – Brené Brown

Imagine this scenario:

You notice that your partner seems worried about something. I’m not sure what’s going on, but they’ve been acting agitated and tense all day. How do you respond? Is there a part of you that starts to worry or views their mood as rejecting you? What do you tell your partner about your concerns – if any? Do you communicate, even if you’re not sure how?

Part of the way you respond to situations like this has to do with how well you are able to reach out and express your vulnerability. Beyond vulnerability and vulnerability—our willingness to speak the truth and be ourselves, even in the face of uncertainty—is an innate gift that we can all learn to develop, and one that can greatly benefit our intimate relationships.

Here’s what prominent researcher, author and speaker Dr. Brian Brown has to say on the subject (and has a lot to say on the subject):

  • “Vulnerability is the essence of shame, fear, and our struggle for worthiness, but it also seems to be the cradle of love, belonging, joy, courage, empathy, and creativity.”
  • “Vulnerability is not winning or losing; it is having the courage to show up when we have no control over the outcome.”
  • “Weakness is not weakness; it is our greatest measure of courage.”

Keep reading to find out why living with vulnerability is a key component of satisfactory relationship.

Related Topics: How to Find Strength Through Weakness in a Relationship

3 Ways Being More Vulnerable Can Strengthen Your Relationship

Remember the classic airplane metaphor of putting on your own oxygen mask before helping someone else? The idea that we need to help and heal ourselves before we can transform our truly intimate relationships has deep wisdom in it.

Being more vulnerable can boost your sense of self-worth because the (sometimes frightening) experience teaches you how to stand up for yourself even in the face of things you can’t control. By facing uncomfortable situations and working on them, rather than walking away or closing in, you’re teaching yourself how to be resilient… and increasing your confidence in the process.

In this way, you may begin to feel less dependent on other people’s opinions and perceptions – because your compass becomes your inner wisdom, rather than the thoughts of others that are out of your control. This reinforces an inner sense of security that serves as a solid foundation on which you can communicate purposefully and lovingly with your partner.

2. Vulnerability helps foundation trust with your partner

When we act and speak the truth—including the truth of how we feel and what we need—while giving space for our partners to be honest, we build a bridge of trust between each other.

Can this feel uncomfortable at times? definitely. But the risk of acting dishonestly comes at a much higher price because it leads to separation. As Psychology Today reported, one Stanford University study found that when people try to hide their feelings, others can. “sense” Falsehood – as evidenced by their high blood pressure!

By demonstrating each other’s desire to be vulnerable, you and your partner are communicating that your relationship is a safe space to love, seize opportunities, and learn together. Trust is also essential to discussing and setting healthy boundaries regarding money, intimacy, parenting, and any other area of ​​life.

Why vulnerability is so important to healthy relationships: 3 reasons

3. Weakness strengthens your bond

When we reinforce the trust we share with our partner and keep expressing our vulnerability (we keep doing difficult things), we help foster a sense of togetherness. We learn that we can show ourselves in our relationship without fear of rejection or shame because we are encouraged by our mutual support for one another.

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