Know the difference between love and attachment – attachment increases fear and love destroys it.
Sometimes, love and attachment are intertwined with each other. Sometimes the lines become so blurred that you become blind to what is going on around you. And you can’t tell what’s real anymore.
according to Dr. Philip Schaeffer and Dr. Cindy Hazan, About 60 percent of people have a secure attachment (a supportive attachment), while 20 percent have an avoidant attachment, and 20 percent have an anxious attachment.
according to Mikolinser M, Erif E. Safe people focus more on intimacy than avoidant and ambivalent people. Which Their relationships were characterized by high intimacy and the match of true love with the self-partner. The romantic relationship between opposite people is marked by their failure To understand Their desire for warm and secure love. Avoidant people experience less intimacy than secure people, but have more commitment than ambivalent people in their relationships. They are found to underestimate the love of partners and Requires Less intense love of secure and ambivalent people.
But the difference between unhealthy attachment and true love is actually evident today.
1. Attachment need.
It’s Sam. It’s just being okay when you’re with this person. He cannot live without them. He thinks they are the reason you are on this earth. It is the idea that you are not complete without this person.
Love falls without realizing it. It’s slow. It is accurate. It’s okay without this person. He’s letting this guy have his own space. He wants what’s best for this person, even if it means he’s not in his life anymore. It’s accepting that sometimes, what’s best for you, isn’t what’s best for them.
Read on to 3 secrets to achieving love without getting attached
2. The clingy attachment.
It’s ideas 24/7 of them. He’s letting other relationships fizzle out because the one with him is the most important. He cannot accept life without them. It’s not about being happy on your own. He is always afraid that they will leave. He is always worried about your future with them.
Read on Why you should never feel sorry for being so clingy
3. Love is the acceptance of what ought to be.
It’s being your own person outside of that relationship. It is to be happy alone and with your other friendships. Don’t be afraid of your future with this person. Because you are confident in this love. And you are confident that it will withstand anything if that is what it is intended to do.
Another perspective on the difference between love and attachment is that Attachment is not seeing that person’s flaws. He believes that they are pure perfection and cannot be wrong. He stands up for this person even if they hurt you. It is a continuous cycle of blindness.
4. Love fights.
It is having real arguments about life. It’s seeing that person’s flaws and accepting them. She loves this person despite his bad qualities. It is communication about your problems. It’s communication about your differences, and what makes your relationship difficult. It is work. It’s always hard work
5. Attachment is easy.
Because it’s not real. It’s not real love. It’s just a blurry streak of insecurity and self-loathing.
6. Love is not easy.
Difficult. It is a compromise. It’s sweat and tears. It is hardship and reconciliation. It’s fights and makeup.
7. The attachment is just a surface level connection.
It is dangerous. She thinks they are the only important thing in your life.
8. Love is letting them go if that’s what it takes.
He let fate take its course. It is accepting that it is not meant to be. And it’s fine even if it hurts like hell. Because you know love like this will come again and you’ll be fine.