The stages of grief – especially for victims of psychopathic relationships
Have you broken up with a psychopath? Feeling lost and suffocated? extreme sadness?
Well, bereavement is inevitable when a relationship with a psychopath ends. However, the stages of grief are different from what you go through after breaking up with your loving partner or the death of a loved one. Even though you’re out of hell, overcoming this emotional roller coaster and healing your scars is hard — but not impossible.
Here are the 8 stages of grief in a psychopathic relationship
1. Mass destruction
After the relationship with the psychopath ends, you feel numb, and even worse, inferior, empty and plunge into the trauma that can really happen to you. It’s common for you to keep thinking about him 24/7 and to get carried away, which prevents you from participating in the activities that triggered you earlier. You are unable to handle the distressing situation that causes stress, anxiety and depression as also mentioned in Narcissistic traits handbook
Watch the video to discover the difference between a narcissist, psychopath or sociopath
You keep thinking about what happened only to get back to square one. On the one hand, you desperately want to unite with him, thinking that this is all your fault. This degrades your self-esteem and confidence to the point that you no longer want to live. You begin to lose a sense of self, unable to see the bright side of life. This stage of utter devastation leaves you mentally drained, which also affects your health.
You may have suspected their behavior and their wives’ sexual infidelity many times. But you may have lied to yourself until the psychopath’s fake mask fell off. Now to maintain your sanity, you are denying anger and feelings of sadness and suppressing your emotional pain. Trying to prove that you are happy after ending a relationship – you can party hard, laugh out loud, make new friends, catch up with old friends, think irrationally, have reckless sex, waste money, get hurt all at the same time, and become frustrated and aggressive.
No matter how hard you try to justify your hardened mind, you experience isolation. You don’t find anyone who can understand your pain because your friends and parents have always been against your psychopathic relationship, adding to the isolation and pain. This bereavement is different from what you experience after losing your relatives and loved ones. You tend to lock yourself in your room and stay away as your sense of confidence is completely crushed.
3. Learning and self-doubt
Even though your brain no longer feels like a prison, you still have scars to heal. Over time, you want to learn more about psychopathy, well aware of the fact that nothing can change the past. You study more about narcissism to settle thoughts or to find out what, how and why things went wrong. You soon learn about the dangerous characteristics and signs of psychopathic relationships and end up blaming yourself for poor judgment and unwise decisions.
If you want to quickly identify psychopaths or manipulative people, read the 15 red flags you are dealing with
The more you educate yourself, the more you enter into self-doubt. Then he kept wondering how “I love you” could turn into “I hate you” in the blink of an eye. You find flaws in your behavior that may have changed his obsession with contempt. Self-doubt is self-sabotage because the victim bears full responsibility for destroying the relationship. Because you’ve always thought of a psychopath as a “perfectionist.”
4. Understanding the psychopath
Through self-education, you tend to overcome self-doubt and stop blaming yourself. This is one of the important stages of grief. You begin to understand psychopathology, which is an important step toward healing and healing your broken heart. You delve into psychopathic psychology and understand how their minds work. In the end, it all makes sense to you – passion and admiration for sudden hate, control of criticism, blame game, emotional abuse, and finally a breakup.
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You realize that everything was a big lie and that you trusted him blindly. That every action was pre-planned and you were played. The more you meditate and relive the past, the more you discover the truth behind all the horrific experiences you have had in your relationship with Satan. Eventually, you find all the answers your brain has been longing for and you start to feel awful and broken. She’s never been loved and it’s hard to fathom the bitter truth.
After discovering the truth, you feel more than just anger and disgust. It boils your blood so much that you stop feeling guilty. Instead of sympathizing with the partner, all you have is resentment! Your mind is full of frustration and you want to get rid of all the pent-up feelings at once. Besides feeling revenge, you want to call him and shower with offensive words or crush him to mess with your mind. You want the whole world to know narcissism and save other victims.
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IAt this point, you might imagine killing him in your mind a billion times. Anger, hatred, and contempt make you more obsessed with this person. Feel free to express your feelings to all the people near and dear to you. This is called delayed anger! When you were in a relationship, you denied your feelings and always suppressed your emotions thinking it was your fault.
After determining what happened, your mind starts racing with mixed thoughts. You can choose to let it go because it wasn’t your fault. But soon you get angry and frustrated. You start to have a negative view of life.
Feeling worthless and empty, one ignores self-care, eating, grooming, work, and other activities of daily living. You avoid socializing because of a lack of confidence, which in turn amplifies your pain (post-traumatic stress disorder) It disturbs your sleep cycle. You are a betrayer, and there is no denial or self-doubt, as we mentioned in the previous stages of grief. At this point, you go deeper into depression and find no way out. It seems to you that separation is the end of the world.
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You begin to assess your strengths and weaknesses and what led to your exploitation. Then start surrounding yourself with people and seek help from psychologists, relationship coaches, therapists, or people who have had similar experiences. Listening to their stories helps you gain new perspectives so you hope to reach a happy ending again.
Validating people helps you develop a healthy feeling and a positive outlook on life. You feel calm as you express your feelings instead of suppressing your feelings, which heals your heartache. There is nothing to control you and now you have freedom of mind. Just be yourself and watch the toxicity fly out of your life.
Once healing begins, you begin to discover your potential and strength. And understand that all I did was love, which is not a crime. You begin to appreciate your virtues, which increase your self-esteem and confidence.
You gain clarity, embrace who you are, and accept all of your mistakes. Instead of ruminating, find out how to make your life beautiful. You stop seeing yourself from the perspective of a narcissist. Then start engaging in self-love, which boosts your self-esteem. When you prioritize parents and friends, your hatred, anger, and distress turn into sympathy and love again. Of all the stages of grief, self-discovery is the beautiful thing. The new version of yourself is all set to explore and enjoy new possibilities.
Can you relate yourself to these stages of grief?
How did you move in your life after a psychopathic relationship? Share your thoughts by commenting below.