Chances are if we’re being completely honest, there’s a situation where we might have exaggerated a little bit to get a little help with a particular problem or perhaps get a little more sympathy than is warranted.
Or maybe when you have a conflict, put a comment that wasn’t quite right just to cause a reaction despite the fact that you know it wouldn’t be a nice comment. Each of these is an attention-seeking behavior.
When these become well known habits that people become wise to, they can begin to Putting relationships at risk, especially partnership. Companion finds it difficult to come to terms with the attention seeker’s ability to make everything about them; In contrast, the partner’s special needs are diminished if they are met at all.
While attention grabbing is something most of us crave, attention seeking is a more dramatic and often unhealthy pattern. It compels the people you care about to give you the recognition you want, sometimes without even realizing how far it takes you to earn that attention.
It is a slippery slope between what seem to be innocent exaggerations to elicit a particular reaction to succumb to attention-seeking behaviour. Why risk relationships this way? Let’s find out.
What is attention-seeking behavior in a relationship?
Many friends are manipulated by the attention seeker from the beginning of the relationship. The partner often notices the demands for attention, but as with any new relationship, most people play up their early quirks and flaws.
As the relationship progresses, it becomes more and more evident with the attention-seeking behavior that the attention-seeking person will contribute little to the partnership while the expectation is that you, as a companion, will give 100 percent.
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In the psychology of attention seekers, The idea is that other people will provide the validation they are looking for and provide the self-enhancement they need. In contrast, attention-seeking individuals appear to be self-absorbed with minimal effort to appreciate or respect those they love.
Their needs are the priority. Problems should be resolved without worrying about anyone else’s problems.
What are examples of attention-seeking behaviour?
You can recognize the signs of an attention seeker relatively quickly if you pay attention and listen. Most of these individuals are self-involved, so conversations, moods, plans, appointments, and everything will revolve around them in some way or at least somehow find its way into them.
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Check out some examples of attention-seeking behavior, so you know what to look for.
1. Familiar quickly
People who seek attention will become familiar when meeting for the first time, and soon partner with a new companion. It is understood from the outset that there is interest even though there are ulterior motives.
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2. Never wrong
Attention-seeking behavior has a combative nature in the sense that a person is always ready to fight, and if there is nothing to argue with, they will create something. The individual is always right with the attention-seeking personality, even if they are proven wrong.
3. Compliments are a must
Among the attention-seeking symptoms, you will find that the individual will hunt compliments relentlessly. These people will work tirelessly on their looks and yet comment on how poor they are until you come back with a rebuttal.
4. And yet they brag
In the same vein, the attention seeker will flaunt his best self. If you try to do anything like bring dinner, perform an errand, or make a plan, that person will yell at how much they have improved and enter into a thesis on how to do it.
Excellence is crucial to these people; Being the center of attention and showing off helps show your level of greatness to those in your social circle.
Learning to deal with attention seekers means that you have to realize that this person will not be available to you in the same way that you are for them.
There is a phobia of commitment In many cases because these people need recognition from many resources. However, the individual is often with his mate to receive the validation he desires.
5 reasons behind attention-seeking behavior
It is important to understand that Everyone He wants and needs some attention. You cannot thrive without some kind of interaction; He is human.
Life depends on the connections we make with others. The problem is when these needs come to an unhealthy level. There can be many reasons why attention-seeking behavior can get out of control. Let’s take a look at a little.
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1. Past trauma
This could be something that happened in your childhood or it may have happened recently painful experience Perhaps with a previous relationship. Maybe there was a bad breakup.
Dealing with rejection It can be exceptionally annoying. Trying to calm this down by soliciting attention from others while in a relationship while constantly checking those partnerships is the resulting coping mechanism.
When trying to discern the causes of attention-seeking behaviour, intra-self insecurity is among the ’causes’. low self-esteem Lack of confidence in many ways can contribute to mental illness related to how people see themselves.
Trying to draw attention back when no one seems to be looking is the intent to stabilize while the balance has disappeared. This is also the reason why so much time is spent in appearance and hunting for compliments.
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Attention-seeking behavior can result if a partner has to introduce a new colleague or friend. The attention seeker can feel threatened by this new person with the belief that they can start to draw some attention away from the partner.
This can lead to a significant increase in behavior to try to direct the focus away from the friend or colleague. Depending on the situation, it could push a person away from their new job or be friends with a partner.
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4. Feeling lonely
When asking for attention They find themselves feeling lonelyThey will improve attention-seeking behavior in an effort to attract more people around them, to become the focus of someone’s attention, especially if they do not have a companion in their life.
The goal is to attract that person. These individuals boast that they are perfectly capable of attracting partners, with no one initially wiser than a person having an unhealthy need for attention.
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5. Mental disorders
There are also mental disorders that can lead to attention-seeking behaviour, including histrionic personality disorder (HSP). borderline personality disorder BPD “and Narcissistic personality disorder “NPD.” This refers to “dramatic” or “group B” disorders.
Aside from a constant need for attention, this character exhibits intense emotional behavior, often beyond the ability to be the center of attention. There are instances where these individuals use sex to get attention and may appear to be flirting with those around them.
The individual will look for instant gratification with little impulse control, which prevents complacency from relationships to maintain.
These individuals tend to feel dissatisfied and empty. There is a fear that they will end up on their own, as many suffer from paranoia regarding other people’s opinions.
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Many believe that they are judged because they often read the actions of others. Interpersonal relationships are a struggle for the attention seeker to maintain when treatment is neglected.
Narcissists have an exaggerated opinion of themselves, and find those around them less important. They find themselves worthy. The individual finds it difficult to empathize with others; However, they will criticize when they criticize.
The narcissistic fish For compliments and looks up to others for admiration, he is a very manipulative personality.
How do you deal with an attention-seeking partner?
The relationship with the attention seeker will always be lopsided. The individual will demand to boost his ego but will not offer the same. Their needs, wants, and desires will be satisfied while yours will be lacking.
When they need a support system, you’ll be bound to be a shoulder to cry on, a leader to cheer on, and the one to just listen. Check out some tips if you’re wondering how to deal with attention-seeking partners.
An attention seeker will not need to seek attention if you meet that need. Some people need more attention than others for many reasons, some of which we have already discussed.
In some cases, it is important to reach out to a third party to provide advice to help the individual through challenges which is why they need attention. It’s their way of coping. But during the recovery process, give enough attention.
2. Praise positivity
There are positive qualities for everyone. Although the attention seeker is often self-absorbed, he also has good qualities that need to be commended. The more you focus on the good and ignore the flaws or quirks that seem to bother you, the less likely that will happen.
If your mate is bragging or catching compliments, focus more on something good they did for you and move forward from that point on.
3. Protect their ego but communicate
Have an assertive conversation about what you don’t like without hurting your partner’s ego.
Your partner is counting on you to validate them; If they feel any sense of rejection or negativity, it may increase their attention-seeking behavior in an attempt to refocus you on what they see as good points.
The discussion should be positive, despite talking about the need to change the behavior that is bothering you.
4. Appreciation is important
When you start noticing an effort, it is imperative that you recognize it and celebrate even small accomplishments. Plus, it might be helpful if you get hacked a bit too. No one can completely change their person. They can recover with help, but this person is always there.
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When you saw this person seeking attention, there was a chance for you to make a conscious decision to either accept the individual as he is or move on to someone else along the lines of your preference in your mate.
If it stays, there should be no contingencies for the individual to make a full conversion. Improvements – We all have improvements to make. But complete change should not be an expectation.
Again, if there is a mental disorder, your partner should receive the necessary treatment from a professional counsellor.
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This does not mean that no more attention will be required than would be necessary for the average person. However, personality disorder symptoms can be subsided, and the individual can find their way to a point of recovery.
this is the book It may be useful for someone trying to find healing “Notice: How to get attention without being attention-seeking.”
How to stop the attention-seeking behavior in a relationship
When someone emotionally manipulative or overly dramatic that it drains you both mentally and physically, you don’t have to empower this person; You can get away from the situation.
In a prosperous and healthy partnership, the protocol is for constructive conversations during trials and tribulations. But these seizures are neither normal nor healthy. If you choose not to participate, the attention seeker will not get what he so desperately wants, a reaction.
In this case, the attention-seeking person will realize that there is a need for it Reach a professional To get the necessary treatment so that both of you can progress healthy or hopefully realize that the partnership may be in jeopardy.
Suppose you have a partner, friend, or family member who drains you of your energy with extremes in an attempt to get attention. In this case, it is beneficial for their health and well-being to guide them in Professional advisor guidance.
An expert can diagnose the root of the problem and help the individual find their way to recovery, especially if the problem is related to a personality disorder.