Did you know that there is a scientifically backed formula that can help couples build long-term relationships? Yes, the secret behind lasting relationships has been unlocked!
“Till death do us part” is not just part of an oath; It is a passion, an emotion that motivates couples to enter into the bond of sacred marriage with a decision to stay together until their last breath.
Unfortunately, most marriages that begin with these noble feelings are destined to end in false promises, resentment, and eventually a legal separation or divorce. a study Even in the United States, Nearly half of all marriages end in divorce.
But divorce is not the only sign of a failed marriage. There are many couples who end up staying in a bitter, unhealthy, dysfunctional marriage marked by conflict, aggression, and in the worst cases abuse and violence. Unfortunately, this applies to all romantic partners, whether they are married or not.
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So is there no eternal happiness after that? Are all relationships doomed to become toxic? Or is there a magic formula for long-term relationships that only the “chosen ones” know and master, whose marital success is envied by the veneration and envy of other, less fortunate spouses?
The The secret of long-term relationships
Since the colonial era, Americans have considered the sanctity of marriage to be The cornerstone of a healthy society. But as the number of divorces rose in the 1970s, sociologists became interested in the topic of permanent marriage.
They invited couples to participate in their research work and closely observed the partners’ interaction with each other in their labs, with the sole purpose of discovering the secret behind long-term relationships. What are the factors that cause the breakdown of marriage and what are the rules for long-term relationships?
One of these researchers was the famous psychologist John Gottman. He has done extensive work on this subject over the past four decades. Along with his wife Julie Guttman, another prominent psychologist, he runs the Guttman Institute to help couples build lasting relationships based on scientific research.
Their multi-year studies and results can be summed up in one statement: The secret of love is just kindness.
Science says lasting relationships come down to two basic qualities
According to Gottman, Lasting relationships depend on two characteristics:
The secret behind building lasting relationships is very simple yet very complex. Let’s take a closer look at how these two traits help form long-term relationships.
Gottman noted in his work that many romantic partners, both within and outside of marriage, interact with each other. These couples fall into two categories:
During the interview, the “catastrophic couples” showed clear signs of arousal, which can be interpreted as a physiological reaction to stress or “Fight Flight” mode. This means that they were under a lot of pressure just to be next to each other. Criticism, judgment, aggression and resentment are born in their relationships.
The electrodes attached to them read that the “disastrous” partners had rapid heart rates, active sweat glands, and rapid blood flow, all of which indicated that they were ready and under attack in their relationship. They were ecstatic in secret and had no sympathy for each other’s foolishness.
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On the other hand, the “Masters” ranked inferior in the discovery of physiological arousal. They were calm and affectionate with each other as if they had mastered the art of maintaining long-term relationships. They somehow created an environment of trust and intimacy, which made them both physically and emotionally comfortable with one another.
After pursuing research topics several years later, Gottman found that the “masters” couple had a much higher rate of successful relationships than the rate of “disaster” relationships.
In his quest to uncover the mystery behind the successful long-term relationships of major couples, Gottman conducted further research and discovered some startling facts about long-term relationships and relationships that falter.
- Delivery Bids
- common joy