Did you know that you can inadvertently form toxic relationships based on trauma? If it makes you think of a particular person in your life, learn how you can recognize the signs of a trauma bond and cut the cord before it’s too late.
Do you think you can’t leave your abusive partner? Do you feel despair when you return to a relationship full of pain? Or do you dwell on your toxic ex and struggle to stay away?
This may indicate that you have fallen into a traumatic relationship, but don’t worry, this toxic relationship It can be put to an end with the right attitude and course of action. Just learn to recognize the signs of a traumatic association first.
Read: Are you obsessed with your abuser?
What is a shock bond?
A trauma bond is a relationship that is built out of intense emotional experiences, often with a toxic and abusive person. The trauma bond makes us emotionally captive to the manipulator who keeps us “hostage”; Which can be through physical or emotional abuse, like many Stockholm Syndrome.
Trauma links are widespread mainly between toxic, abusive, and unhealthy relationships. The dominant partner develops a pattern of giving punishments and rewards that makes the hostage physically and emotionally dependent on the abusive partner. They do this by periodically showing affection, small, hollow acts of kindness, and making false promises just so their partner stays caught up in the emotional abuse trap.
Now let’s look at the signs of a traumatic association.
Read: 6 Painful Ways Emotional Abuse Changes You
Bond’s Five Shock Signs
Are you having a hard time trying to understand why letting go of a violent or abusive relationship is so hard? The five signs of the traumatic association can help you understand the cause.
1. You realize that you are in a violent or abusive relationship, but you don’t know if you will survive without your controlling partner.
Shock bonds can turn into intense attachment With someone who causes you pain. It’s no surprise that at this point you feel that your mental and physical health depends on your partner. You put their needs above yours every time and allow them to decide when you should feel safe and when you should feel fearful.
They create unwritten subversive rules under which they will be punished if they believe you have violated them. One sign of a shock linker is that you often get caught because you weren’t familiar with these rules, or that they change these rules without your notice. This is no accident. They do this on purpose to destabilize you and prove their power as the ultimate rule maker.
2. You live in the good times.
The controlling partner becomes a source of comfort and convenience; Because once they decide to reward you, they won’t beat you up or yell at you. They may even apologize for their behavior and be very affectionate for a while, which they do on purpose.
Unfortunately, the relief they provide is short-lived and you are once again in the hands of the inevitable abuse of your dominant partner. There is a grossly unbalanced balance of forces in this relationship, much like the twisted parent-child relationship in which you are treated like a doll; Pull your leads by your dominant partner.
No wonder then, that as one of the most annoying signs of the traumatic association, it’s hard to imagine a world where there are no ones to control your behavior and emotions.
3. You lose all sense of your worth and worth; You are willing to lower your standards to meet the needs of your toxic and abusive relationship
Your dominant partner has convinced you to believe that you are not worthy of affection, attention, and love even in areas where you were confident. They make you feel like you’re not enough and that you have to fight for their approval to make sure you meet the needs of your relationship.
You have been made to feel invisible, pushed to compete with others for your partner’s approval, and used to their advantage. One of the obvious signs of a trauma bond is that you end up lowering your standards and expectations about what a healthy relationship should actually be like. This puts you in a situation of regression towards self-destruction and loss of self-esteem.