Open and honest conversation can help you learn more about your partner and develop the mutual understanding and trust that strengthen your bond. Want to get close to someone you like, but aren’t sure what questions to ask this guy?
Ask the right questions
In this age of endless connection, we’re more separated than ever and most relationships don’t go far beyond the surface. Maybe it’s because we’re blocking ourselves out or maybe it’s because we no longer have the tools to communicate honestly, such as face-to-face and conversational communication.
In order to build the foundation for a relationship, you need to create a meaningful connection, and that happens when you really connect with who the other person is.
A while ago, I discovered this site called Thought Questions and started keeping a list of some of my favorite things. When my husband and I were still dating, I pulled out the list one night and suggested we play the “question game.” We also mixed it up by seeing if we could guess what the other person would answer.
It was so much fun, but also a very deep experience and we ended up learning so much about each other (and about ourselves!), which brought us even closer. To this day, we make an effort to take the time to ask deep and meaningful questions beyond “How was your day?” And every time we do, we discover new and interesting things about each other.
in his book “The Seven Principles of MarriageRenowned relationship researcher John Gottman (the man who can predict whether a couple will break up with 95% accuracy after watching them interact for just a few minutes) cites ‘strengthening your love maps’ as a first principle.
A love map is basically knowing all the information relevant to your partner’s life, from the little things like the name of their first pet to the big things like the important experiences that shaped their personality. It shows that couples who have detailed love maps of each other’s worlds are more willing to deal with them stressful events and overcome conflict.
The point is, knowledge is power, and asking the right questions to a guy can open the gates for a meaningful connection and a deep understanding of each other. It doesn’t matter what stage of the relationship you’re in, it could be the first date or the 10th year of your marriage, people are deep, complex and always evolving, so there’s always something new to learn.
20 questions to ask a guy you like to get close to
To help you tap into the power of knowledge, here is a list of my favorite bonding questions to ask your man in order to get closer and more connected.
1. What is one thing you are happy about that you will never have to do again?
These questions can be very telling. Usually, the experiences we wouldn’t want to do again were the hardest, but also the most transformative, the ones that helped shape our identity. Usually the worst things we go through in life are the things that make us realize how strong we are.
Related Topics: discretionary inquiry: Are you asking the right questions?
2. What is the one thing you always procrastinate on?
These are good questions to ask a guy to see how rooted and competent he is. There is always a reason why we delay on something, but we don’t always know the cause right away. People who are more floppy will typically procrastinate on everyday practical tasks while people who are more type A-oriented and goal-oriented will have difficulty with feeling tasks.