Psychological health

12 Reasons Why Happily Married Men Cheat

Infidelity is always a terrible thing to go through in a relationship. It is also more common in men than women. Institute for Family Studies (IFS) mentioned From a recent public social survey, 20% of men cheated on their husbands versus 13% of women.

The heartbreak and frustration it causes can be very damaging and often leave you wondering how something went wrong in a happy relationship. This article can help explain why happily married men cheat.

12 Reasons Why Happily Married Men Cheat

Why would a happy married man cheat? It’s a question that doesn’t have a clear answer, but as a rule, men rarely cheat because they’re unhappy. There are a variety of reasons why a man cheats, and it’s not always the same for everyone. Therefore, we have compiled the most important reasons why a happy husband resorts to infidelity.

1. Not meeting needs

It usually causes marriage problems when the needs of the person in the relationship are not fully met. They can be generally happy with their partner but still feel dissatisfied. They are not able to completely resolve this matter and satisfy their needs in a healthy way, so they decide to look for it in someone else.

2. Weak personal boundaries

Are married men happy in treason? Sometimes, it is not out of their will. There is no limits in relationships Or with other people regarding acceptable or unacceptable behavior may increase the chances of men getting involved in affairs.

If he’s a very docile person and has a hard time saying “no,” he may find himself having an affair even if he didn’t want it in the first place.

Related Reading: 10 Personal Boundaries You Need in Your Relationship

3. Insecurity

Everyone has concerns but sometimes the way we approach these matters may not be as healthy as we would like. Your husband can be a wonderful husband and a great father to your children and because of that he may be under a lot of pressure to keep your family happy.

They are unable to talk about this absence of security And treat it in a healthy way, so they look for ways to solve it secretly through an affair.

Related Reading: 16 Signs of Insecurity in Relationships

4. Desire for self-exploration

Usually a married man who cheats on his wife is also someone who is upset with their ability to express themselves in their relationship. For them, infidelity is an opportunity to explore parts of themselves that they have not experienced or repressed for a long time.

It’s also not a case of wanting to change who they are, fundamentally, as a person. It’s more than that because they want to feel free and unburdened long enough to feel like they’re growing up and experiencing life. In such cases, they are not looking for another person in their life. Instead, as cheesy as it may sound, they are looking out for themselves.

Related Reading: 5 Ways Being Self-Aware Can Help Improve a Relationship

5. The allure of doing what you shouldn’t

Why do men have relationships? Sometimes, it’s simply because they know they shouldn’t be tempted to do the exact opposite. It is the allure of the “forbidden fruit”.

Therapist Esther Burrell once said that affairs are rarely about attraction and sex, they are about excitement and the desire to have what we are not supposed to have.

6. Desire to feel less dependent and vulnerable

It may come as a surprise, but emotions play a role in a man’s betrayal. This is also related to the insecurity your husband may feel. For the most part, men find it difficult to truly express their feelings and are vulnerable, even towards themselves.

That’s why marriage becomes scary because it’s all about weakness and dependence on one person. To feel less vulnerable, he often resorts to having an affair as a way of spreading intimate details about himself and not feeling completely emotionally dependent on one person.

Check the importance of weakness in relationships:

7. Instant Self-gratification

Does a happy man cheat? Yes, he certainly does but not out of lack of satisfaction. Most of the time, it’s related to their ego.

As most people have discovered, selfishness is often the driving factor behind men having an affair. He may be happily married but is cheating on his wife because of that need for instant gratification that his wife may not be able to give him at that exact moment.

Related Reading: Unlocking the Secrets to Marriage Satisfaction

8. Thinking they can get away with it

Lots of men cheat because they think they can get away with it. They justify it by telling themselves that they are a good man, a good husband, and a good father, so cheating shouldn’t be a big deal.

They fail to understand that their wives don’t really see it that way, and thus fail to realize the devastation that their infidelity brings.

9. Immaturity

This is often one of the main reasons why men cheat. When someone lacks experience and lacks the maturity needed to work through the core aspects of the relationshipThis can often lead them to think that there is room for fluidity in their loyalty to their wives.

They will then come up with many justifications for their actions that are often persuasive in denial. They lack the emotional maturity to realize that their actions have consequences.

Related Reading: 10 Signs of Emotional Immaturity and Ways to Deal With It

10. The novelty of the experience

It is common to wonder why a happy married man is having an affair, and more often than not, the answer to that question is the adventure and suspense behind your spouse’s back.

Being in a well-established relationship means the convenience of reliability and routine, and some men are happy with that. But then, eventually, they’ll crave the excitement that being in an affair brings.

11. Opportunity Crime

Even a person in a strong and happy marriage can become weak when an opportunity arises. This is usually the case when a husband cheats on his wife with a known person, such as a colleague he finds attractive, rather than a complete stranger.

They often justify this by saying that the opportunity was there and they felt they couldn’t let it pass.

12. Body image

Sometimes cheating is a way for men to prove to themselves that they “still have it.” It’s live linked to selfishness And they want their ego to be beaten.

By getting involved in an affair with someone else, it makes them feel good knowing that, even outside of marriage, they are still desirable and attractive to others.

Can a cheating husband love his wife?

It is very common to hear men who cheated on their wives claim that they still love them. Others may see it as real, but others may see it as just a way to please their wives and not get into more trouble.

This question whether traitorous husband He can still love his wife is complicated and he doesn’t really have a clear answer. Love is a complex emotion in the first place, and betrayal is not always as straightforward as most people think.

Why do men have social relations if they are happily married? As mentioned in the previous section, there are a variety of reasons that force a man to cheat and not all of them indicate a man falling in love with his wife.

Having intimate and sexual connections with others is usually the reason why married men cheat. They see their affairs as something that does not need any deep emotional bond. This means that there is no real romantic relationship between them.

It may not necessarily mean that he stopped loving his wife, but it shows that he failed to respect and honor her the way he should.

Why do married men cheat and stay with their wives?

There are several reasons why men who have sexual relations still choose to stay with their wives:

  • They still love their wives

There have been cases of men still in love with their wives despite being unfaithful to them. They cheat because they crave excitement or have deep desires that are not being met and may be ashamed to ask their wives what they need.

Married men who cheat fear that if they leave their wives to continue their relationship, or if their wives find out, divorce is the likely option they will make.

The financial implications and stress that divorce brings are things they don’t want to deal with, so they choose to stay married rather than admit to their infidelity.

  • They don’t want to hurt their wives

Despite the selfishness shown by having a relationship on the side, many men still care how their wives will feel about their infidelity. The same cannot be said for those who lack emotional maturity, but most men choose to stay with their wives because they would rather not cause them any unnecessary pain.

How does counseling couples help in dealing with infidelity?

Regardless of the reason, cheating is still wrong and can cause great pain to the other party. It leaves you frustrated and wondering why guys cheat when they’re happy.

Trying to come to terms with her can lead to a lot of emotional distress, for both the spouses and the therapist they choose to go to after infidelity.

but the Couples therapist role It is crucial in order to properly guide the husband and wife during this massive crisis. The American Psychological Association reports that using EFT or emotionally focused therapy for couples counseling has a 75 percent chance of success.

Even couples who have been perfectly happy and in sync with each other need an expert to guide them through the amount of betrayal, distrust, and hurt that this affair has resulted in. It’s important to go through it properly in order to have a chance to rebuild the relationship if they both want it, and to heal from it.

Therapists not only have to discover and address the root cause of the problem but they have to find a way to provide the tools to rebuild that trust and confidence and create an environment where clients can work properly through their problems.


Now, you no longer wonder, “Why do happy husbands cheat on their wives?” Knowing the root cause of the problem and getting an idea of ​​it is a step towards accepting and healing from it.

Having this information also means that you can do whatever you can to save your marriage while you still can. Of course, you can’t guarantee your husband’s exact fidelity because, ultimately, it still boils down to the choices he makes.

But there is no harm in trying to cultivate a deeper relationship with him, whether it be through my body or emotional bonds. If a guy knows that what you can offer him in your relationship is something he can’t get from anyone else, he is less likely to cheat.

In cases where you end up cheating, marital counseling is an effective way to deal with any issues both of you are having that might be the reason for your infidelity. At the same time, you will not have to deal with your emotional stress on your own because you will be able to talk about it with a professional.

Whatever the cause of this affair, the heartbreak it causes is just as devastating. The tips shared in this article help provide insight into how the cheating spouse’s mind works and hopefully give you an idea of ​​the things you can do to prevent any infidelity from happening.

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